How to make your conversations interesting?- One question which most of us want to know.
How to make your conversations interesting? Why?
Because everyone wants to create an influence, everyone wants to have an impact on others.
Let me be frank. I do not know, or nobody knows for sure in this world, how to spark up a conversation. Sometimes we feel that we are boring everyone around as we are bored. Conversations need to be exciting and engaging so that people can talk and communicate with each other on any topic.
We must understand the art of conversation, so exchanges should not be linear. Instead, they should be of various threads that can be picked up and run. When we are talking, it can go in any direction and can lead anywhere.
For example, when we talk about the weather, we start sharing information on international trips. Next minute we are talking about somebody’s dress.
The best conversationalist knows how to use these multiple threads in conversation and still reach a specific destination at the end of the conversation. That means. We start the topic and end by summarizing with main points, but in between, the conversation can go anywhere.
Just check the example:
Rahul: It is scalding today. What do you think?
You: Yes, it is an actual hot day today.
Rahul: I’m happy that I have an AC unit at home.
You: It is impossible to imagine a day without it.
Rahul: Did you know it was challenging when I was in Kerala on a meditation retreat in September without any AC?
You: Oh really? I have always wanted to go on a retreat like that. Once I went to Rishikesh and took a yoga retreat. I was in love with the serenity, which calmed my soul.
Rahul: There is no way you have to tell me more about all these. Do you have other upcoming trips?
If the above conversation looks simple on paper, let me tell you, it is effortless in real life as well. You must focus on continuing the conversation and remaining flexible enough to change one thread. You also make sure that your reach the desired destination during the conversation.
It is more critical in sales, interviews, and meetings. You need to know where you want the conversation to go and what result you want to have from it. Do not be afraid to move with one thread to make your conversation interesting when talking to a prospective client or interviewer.
If you remain on linear exchange and only force on sales or interview questions, you might not get the deal instead of having an authenticated, exciting conversation.
The above point is what Dale Carnegie has spoken about in “How to win and influence friend” and Shiv Khera in “You can sell”.
As per my experience with so many people I have been training, I have a few tips to share that can help anyone make their conversations interesting, engaging, and powerful.
Check out the tips:
Tip 1: Know your audience (How to make your conversations interesting)
Everybody wants to talk about themselves, so you allow them to open up when the conversation focuses on them. You might be surprised, but that is how everyone decides what to share and how much to share.
The more you talk, the more connection they will feel. Knowing your audience is essential.
You should know
- What the audience wants. What audience would like you to say?
- The problem audience wants you to solve?
Should it mean that you have to stay quiet throughout the conversation? No!
The opposite effect can be there, and the conversation will slack. You can pick small anecdotes of your own in between that will help the other person keep talking. You can ask probing questions to encourage them to explore specific topics.
How to make your conversations interesting? Remember here that you are in control of the conversation by knowing what you ultimately Want? Where do you want to lead your discussion? Such small nudges in the right direction will keep the talks or conversation interesting.
The most crucial point here is to be genuinely interested to know what they have to say. Anyone can smell if somebody is inauthentically or condescending, so do not be fake.
Tip 2: Talk about some common points of interest
Find some points of commonality on which can connect. It may sound simple, but people overlook it during a conversation. Especially when we are selling or when we are in the interview. Looking for common interests will naturally make the conversation go on the connection from both sides.
You might have a call with a prospective client to book a demo to showcase your product. They mention how they dislike their admin work in the job. You can also do the same by telling them how you also feel admin work takes a lot of time. Talk about it. Dig in deep into the conversation.
Explore what they have to say and what they are feeling. Share some of your bad experiences, laugh a bit, and you will enjoy the conversation. So this is how you have to look for common ground and close the discussion with the best possible results. You will win trust.
Tip 3: Have correct and positive body language
The conversation is not only what is said, but how it is said is also essential, so body language plays a vital role while having a conversation.
Many people say that I cannot hold a conversation or I cannot make eye contact. I am nervous while I’m speaking. So there are a few things which are part of body language. Feeling uncomfortable around a stranger or in a new situation is natural. We have to focus on a few correct and positive body language.
When we are having a conversation, and we have a smile on our face, it represents welcome and warmth, so while having a conversation, wear a genuine smile. It alone can do wonders.
Lack of eye contact can make people think that we do not care what they are saying or are not interested in them. It ultimately makes them reluctant to open up. A few tricks which you can follow are:
- Try to see the colour of their Iris, and if you are close, then its texture.
- Look in between their eyes or at their eyebrows if you are not comfortable looking directly into their eyes. They will hardly know the difference.
- Make it a habit that when you are going out, you have brief eye contact with people who are strangers. Slowly and steadily, this tip will make you comfortable with strangers.
Also, when people are not talking, it is better to look away so that they do not feel pressured.
Straight body posture
If you are having a conversation but are not sitting straight or standing straight, it might be a wrong signal for the recipient. It is always essential to maintain a straight body posture and show your confidence and comfort. It makes others also comfortable with you.
Open body posture -If you have crossed arms, it can make you look underconfident. It is a defensive posture, which we do when we have to protect ourselves against some fear, stranger or intimidation.
If done in the case of a conversation, it can be a barrier between two people who are having a conversation. So instead of having a crossed body posture, have an open body posture that shows your confidence.
Tip 4: Ask open-ended questions
If the answer to your question is a simple yes or no, you are not on the right track. These types of questions immediately shut the conversation and are close-ended questions. You do not want to act like a robot, so prioritize open-ended questions wherever you can.
Rather than saying, are you having a good day? You can say what you love about today. It is one technique that helps in cold calling, making sales conversations and icebreaking situations. When the person starts communicating, you can probe deeper with five pet questions: journalism questions who, what, when, why and how.
In the above situation, you can ask who has made your day splendid. What happened?
How is your day great today?
Why do you think that the day was great?
How can they make sure that every day is excellent?
If the conversation is not going good, change the point of discussion
Tip 5: Summarize the issues at the end
It is difficult for everybody to listen to the entire conversation throughout. So, in the end, summarizing the main points of the discussion can bring better results in sales meetings, client meetings, etc. When you translate the conversation with main points, you should also focus on the call to action, which can help people know what they must do. Go further.
Here we should not only repeat the main points, but we can also ask questions about what they have to say. They can also ask questions if they have any. It will allow them to engage more with you.
In case you want to learn the art of making your conversations engaging and interesting, check out the course.